Gym Culture

I don't know if you've ever been a member at a gym, but gyms have their own special culture and fun stereotypes. For me, people-watching at the gym is all about distracting myself from the pain. If I'm looking at Mr. Macho Man or Ms. Designer Duds, that means I'm not looking at the seconds ticking slooooooooooooowly away.

Perhaps these stereotypes are a bit extreme, but really, why not have fun while you're torturing yourself?

Part 1: The Body Builder Types

I'm sure you can picture these guys. I see them quite often since the gym is their second home (maybe their first home!!). These are the guys who always wear muscle shirts. Sleeves just get in the way of showing off those beautiful biceps.

The body builder types also wear the weight lifter belts. They must think it makes their waist look smaller and their chest look bigger. As if they really need that! Actually, the wanna-be body builders wear these too, thinking it automatically makes them a body builder. In reality, for the wanna-bes, it's some sort of weird girdle thing. (Only until they get their six pack!! Yeah. Uh-huh.)

It's amusing because, a lot of times, these guys only work their upper body. And although their upper body is impressive (if not a bit overwhelming and maybe a tad disgusting), their toothpick legs just look comical. I've often wondered how they don't topple over.

They enjoy the fact that gym walls usually consist of mirrors. Because if you're going to spend that much time sculpting your impressive physique, of course you want to look at it! I think they also like the mirrors so they can see if anyone else is admiring them. :) I've seen them make lots of trips to the water fountain to give the rest of us ample time to admire. Oh, and to give their muscles a rest, of course.

These guys are competitive. "Can you spot me?" really means "Can you come over here and see how much *I* can lift?" I actually heard one say to another, "Oh, I can lift way more than that." The other guy obviously didn't appreciate it, and so the first guy said, "I'm just joking, man!!" Yeah, right. The completely ironic thing is that most of the time these guys aren't in shape at all. Yes, they're strong and have big muscles, but they don't usually have endurance or agility.

To me, these guys look like they walk around with their chests puffed out. I've been tempted to prick one to see if he flies around the gym like a balloon. I have this mental picture of a guy in a muscle shirt and weigh lifting belt, flying around the room with his chicken legs flapping in the wind. When all the air is let out, he finally comes to rest, his chest all sunken in and his voice suddenly squeeky.

I think the gym should offer some sort of class where you get to watch body builders topple over or fly around the room like balloons or challenge each other to weight lifting duels. I think I would burn some serious calories laughing at that.

- J -