I confess I have a morbid fascination with celebrities- I'm just so amused by/ disgusted with/ incredulous of the unbelievable things they do/ say/ wear. I'm also completely UNIMPRESSED with Hollywood celebrities. I don't see why they have any credibility to speak to anything but plastic surgery, their favorite Starbucks concoction, the best schedule for Mystic Tanning, finding that perfect matching outfit for the dog, or the rigors of having assistants, drivers, stylists, accountants, publicists, managers, rich parents, agents, and more assistants. (That wasn't too harsh, was it?)
Okay, so that was the pre-rant to the real rant.
Is it me or do all the starving starlets look identical? My theory is that ANYONE can be beautiful according to the standard set today. All you have to do is have enough money to:
1. Get a fake tan. (any shade of orange acceptable)
2. Get any combination of fake facial features, including (but not limited to) nose, chin, eyes, cheekbones, and lips.
3. Get fake smooth skin. Botox, anyone?
4. Get a fake eye color. (those cool contacts, you know)
5. Get fake hair-- wigs, weaves, extensions, doesn't matter.
6. Get a fake hair color. (really black or really platinum- the more unnatural, the better)
7. Get fake nails.
8. Get fake curves (this is optional, see #11)
9. Get fake teeth (caps, veneers, whitening treatments, whatever)
10. Wear as much makeup as you possibly can, and then put more on-- especially that great black eyeliner.
And above all....
11. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances should you EAT.
See, this is EXACTLY what's I'm talking about. ALL FAKE!!!
You won't convince me that the current starlets are attractive in any way, especially when compared to actresses of an older era. C'mon, look at the pictures for yourself. [Note: I couldn't post more current starlet pictures because they were all too indecent!]
Below, feast on a refreshing lack of fakeness. Top to bottom: Jeanne Crain, Ava Gardner, Audrey Hepburn, and Deanna Durbin.
Okay, so here are the points of my rant:
1. I'm not saying you should never straighten your teeth or color your hair or wear makeup or enhance the natural beauty God gave you. God created you, He said it was very good, and your appearance should honor Him.
2. I AM, however, begging you, please reject the Paris/ Jessica/ Tara/ Ashlee/ Nicky/ Various Clones Standard of Beauty!
3. Underlying this whole rant is a realization that outward beauty will fade, and there are so many more important things in life.
This rant is slightly tongue-in-cheek because I don't know any normal person who actually considers the starving starlet look the Standard of Beauty. My rant against the fakeness was real. Phew. I feel better. Thanks.
- J -
2 comments:
OH MY goodness!! Paris Hilton looks 100% different than she did as a teen. That is absolutely amazing. She looked prettier then. Good heavens that mortifyingly sad when you think about it.
Three cheers for your rant.
Can you believe that comparison? I was so happy to find it since it completely proved my point. Her whole being now is just FAKE FAKE FAKE... and very orange. Yuck.
Thanks, I felt better after the rant. :)
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